Why you shouldn’t rely on motivation alone, the mental benefits of being terrible at something, and middle split flexibility

Happy Monday,

It’s hard to feel motivated all the time. Even the people we think of as the most motivated — the top athletes, entrepreneurs, and change-makers — don’t always look forward to their daily grind.

The biggest difference between high achievers and everyone else is that they don’t rely on in-the-moment motivation to keep them going. Instead, they get clear on their deeper values — their “why” — then tie their motivation to those values.

The unscientific term for this is called stacking motivations — finding multiple motivators to keep you going even when you feel like doing just about anything else.

For example, if you’re having trouble feeling motivated to work out, dig deep to think about all the reasons you do want to exercise regularly, like:

  • Keeping your immune system healthy (deeper value: long-term physical health)
  • Learning a new skill or sport (deeper value: lifelong learning)
  • Better cognitive performance (deeper value: long-term brain health)

Try making a written list for any areas of your life that are important to you (I.e., health, career, relationships, etc.). That way, you’ll have something to remind you of your “why” any time you’re not feeling motivated at the moment.

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On comparing yourself to others, creating psychological flexibility, and a beach-friendly workout

Happy Monday,

When I first started boxing, I constantly compared myself to others who were more skilled than I was.

I’d envy their head movement, their footwork, their combinations, and I’d endlessly beat myself up for not being as good as them.

I never took into account that most of the people I was judging myself against had been training for years, if not a decade or more.

It simply made no sense for me to compare myself to them.

Yet, I know I’m not alone in comparing my own journey to others’.

How often do you scroll Instagram and wonder why you can’t be as strong, skilled, or athletically gifted as your favorite sports hero? Or as business savvy as your favorite entrepreneur?

This is an unfortunate habit most of us have ingrained in us from a young age.

While it can be helpful to see examples and get inspired by others who have accomplished awe-worthy things, comparing our journeys to theirs makes no sense.

You are on your journey, and other people are on theirs. Most of the time, you have no idea what they’ve gone through to get where they are today.

Stay on your path, and learn to trust the process. Your learning and growth will happen with time.

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On strategies to help you stay on top of your game, life as school, and handstands

Happy Monday,

I get asked a lot about what strategies I use to help me recover well and perform my best.

Although I believe there’s no one approach that works for everyone, here are some of my go-to strategies that help me stay on top of my game:

Move I work out six days a week pretty much without fail. Even on my days off, I take long walks with my dog or leisurely bike rides.

Research consistently shows that regular exercise helps to put us in a better mood, lowers feelings of depression and anxiety, helps us think better and be more creative, increases our ability to focus and learn, and can even increase feelings of hope and optimism.

If you need workout ideas, there are thousands of free workouts here.

Treat food as fuel — Food is a powerful healing tool and fuel for workouts and life. I don’t follow any particular diet, but I do try and eat mostly whole, unprocessed foods and lots of fruits and veggies.

I really believe that food should be individualized.  What works for me might not work for you, so the best thing you can do is learn to listen to your body.

Sleep — There is so much research coming out about the importance of sleep; it helps with workout recovery, mental performance, immune health, longevity, the list goes on. If I get less than six hours, I basically feel like I’m hungover. I try my best to get seven to nine hours most days.

Learn — I’m always learning something new, including reading books, taking courses, and listening to audiobooks and podcasts. Learning is one of my favorite activities and the main way I keep trying to grow and evolve as an athlete and human being.

Get outside — Anyone who knows me knows I spend 99% of my day outside. Fresh air and sunshine really help keep my mood up. I prefer outdoor workouts over indoor ones as well because you get double the benefits.

Play — There’s a lot of emphasis on self-care these days, especially during COVID. But in my opinion, there’s not enough emphasis on simply having fun. Try and carve out a little time each day for fun, whether this means playing a board game with your family, playing tennis, or even just watching a funny movie.

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On making time for fun, naming the “blah” we’ve all been feeling, and jiu jitsu

Happy Monday,

When I started skateboarding a few months ago, it wasn’t because I had big dreams to ollie a trash can or skate the bowls at the world-famous Venice Beach skatepark.

I was simply looking for a low-key activity I could do to get outside, move my body, and get out of my head.

The same is true when I shoot baskets at my local basketball court. When I practice my layups and free throw shots, I’m not trying to become the next Michael Jordan. In fact, I rarely even keep track of how many shots go in. My ultimate goal isn’t to be the best, but to use it as a way to take a break, get some fresh air, and mostly, have some fun.

(Both of these are perfect active rest day activities, by the way, as are activities like going for an easy hike, biking around town, and leisurely swimming.)

Because, while having big dreams and challenging long-term goals is great (I have lots, and encourage you to have lots, too), it’s also nice to have hobbies and activities that are low pressure and just plain fun.

That’s what skateboarding and shooting baskets are for me. I use them as a way to get some fresh air and low-grade movement, to get into flow, and to stop thinking so dang much.

For you, this might mean dancing to your favorite song. Or playing with your kids (human or furry kids) at the park. Or playing tennis/soccer/ping pong/frisbee with friends.

The activity itself doesn’t matter; the goal is to have something goal-less where you can relax, get out of your head, and have a little fun.

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On knowing when to quit, becoming wise, and perfecting technique

How do you know when it’s time to quit or when you should dig your heels in and keep going?

I’m not a big fan of quitting. In my experience, most people quit way too early, before they have even a chance of seeing any progress.

Progress takes time. Much more time, in fact, than most people think or are willing to give.

If you’re trying to lose weight, two weeks is not enough to see whether your diet is a good fit.

If you’re trying to build strength, one 30-day challenge will only get you so far.

Athletic skills — and most other things in life worth pursuing — take years to master. My personal handstand journey is proof: I’ve been on my hands for over seven years, and am just starting to feel the level of control and consistency that make me feel like I kind of know what I’m doing.

But that doesn’t mean quitting is never the answer.

Trying to achieve too much at once — not quitting anything, no matter what — can be more harmful than helpful.

The truth is, we can only do so much in our short lives. I’ve learned this the hard way, previously trying to focus on too many goals at once, eventually realizing that I was making progress on nothing. As a result, I’ve since simplified my life — and my goals — significantly.

The shift from viewing quitting as “giving up” to viewing it as simplifying and focusing is a game changer. With this approach, Quitting can become a hidden superpower.

After all, we only have so much attention and focus to devote to our goals and activities during any given day. We all have responsibilities, and we all need to sleep, eat, exercise, and have some social interaction and relaxation time on a daily and weekly basis. This gives us only a finite amount of time to pursue our bigger goals. Which means that in order to get to know ourselves better and find what really clicks, we need to learn to quit.

As Rich Kaarlgaard writes in Late Bloomers: The Hidden Strengths of Learning and Succeeding at Your Own Pace

“Quitting is power. Quitting, done for the right reason, is not giving up. It’s not submitting or throwing in the towel. It is saying that a job just doesn’t suit us. It is trying something and not liking it. In this way, quitting is actually part of the process of discovery. We define who we are by quitting, whether it’s a club, school, job, or hobby. Forced adherence or unquestioned devotion leads to atrophy—to slowly dying. But quitting is the process of growing, the process of living.”

Conscious quitting isn’t about giving up. It’s about getting clear about our priorities and our goals. It’s quitting one thing so that we can free up time and energy for something more important.

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Some of my favorite podcasts, in defense of thinking, and a core combo to try

I love learning, but I’m not great at sitting still. To continue learning without forcing myself to sit still for hours, I love listening to podcasts and audiobooks.

I listen to audiobooks and podcasts while I’m walking my dog, cleaning, or sometimes even while working out. It’s one of my favorite ways to learn.

Of course, there is so much content out there these days it can be hard to choose what to listen to, but here are some of my go-tos (in no particular order):

Finding Mastery: Conversations with Michael Gervais — Sports psychologist Michael Gervais interviews top performers across different fields on what it takes to become a high performer. Episodes are one to two hours long. (Listen on Apple podcasts)

The Rich Roll Podcast — Rich puts a ton of work into this podcast, and it shows. His conversations with some of the most forward thinking people in health, fitness, nutrition, art, and other areas are always thoughtful and interesting. Episodes are 2+ hours long. (Listen on Apple, Spotify, or YouTube)

Huberman Lab — I’ve been following Dr. Andrew Huberman, a professor of Neurobiology and Ophthalmology at Stanford for over a year now, but his podcast is new as of this year. It’s absolutely fascinating and covers everything brain-related and how our brain controls our perceptions, our behaviors, and our health. Episodes are 2+ hours long. (Listen on Apple Podcasts)

The Tim Ferris Show —I’ve been following Ferris since he first released The 4-Hour Workweek over ten years ago. His podcast covers a large range of topics and I don’t end up listening to all of them, but some episodes are fascinating. Episodes are 2+ hours long. (Listen on Apple or Spotify)

Daily Stoic Podcast — I started listening to this first thing in the morning a few weeks into COVID after realizing that starting my day off with the news was making me overly anxious. Some days are better than others, but they always get me thinking and in a better headspace for the day ahead. Episodes are 2-5 minutes long. (Listen on Apple or Spotify)

Other podcasts I listen to:

The Psychology Podcast with Scott Barry Kaufman

Making Sense with Sam Harris

Lex Fridman Podcast

Philosophize This!

Unlocking Us with Brené Brown

Deep Questions with Cal Newport

10 Percent Happier with Dan Harris

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On the mental benefits of exercise, embracing lifelong learning, and breaking boards

On the mental health benefits of exercise

We all know that engaging in regular exercise is good for our bodies. Workouts keep our waistlines trim, and make our hearts, lungs, and doctors happy.

Most people also recognize that continuing to stay active will help keep us healthy, fit, and mobile as we age, so we can keep doing the things we love.

Those are all great reasons to exercise. But those reasons don’t address the undeniable mental benefits of consistent movement.

Because I don’t know about you, but when I exercise, I feel more human, period.

Exercise keeps me from throwing my computer out the window when I’m upset. It allows me to get my energy out, so I don’t unwittingly lash out at the people I love. It helps me get out of my head when I’m feeling anxious and overthinking life.

And there’s plenty of scientific research to back this up.

Research shows that a single bout of exercise can improve your mood. Regular exercise can lower feelings of depression and anxiety over time. Exercise can help you think better and be more creative, increasing your ability to focus and even learn better shortly after a workout.

Exercise can even increase feelings of hope, giving us perspective on what really matters and helping us have a more positive outlook on life.

So the next time you’re feeling anxious, in your head, or just need inspiration, get some exercise.

It doesn’t have to be a full-on intense HIIT workout every time — a walk, bike ride, stretch session, or playing tennis with a friend all counts.

Nine times out of ten, I bet you’ll feel like a new human, too.

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On considering our future selves, learning how not to quit, and bodyweight basics

Why do we make decisions that our future selves so often regret?

Choosing self-discipline today so that your future self can look back and be proud of your decisions is no easy feat.

One strategy I’ve found helpful is to refer to myself in the third person (I recently read about the benefits of talking to ourselves in the third person in Chatter).

I feel a bit silly, but I’ve started asking myself the question, “what would future Krista think of this decision?” any time I’m engaging in activities that might impact my future self.

For example, when I’m tired and feeling lazy at night, I’ll look at my messy kitchen sink and ask myself, “how will tomorrow morning Krista feel about my decision not to put away these dishes?” Nine times out of ten, I’ll go ahead and clean up.

Similarly, if you’re thinking about your health and fitness, this strategy of talking to your future self makes it easier to make conscious decisions.

Try asking yourself questions such as…

How will I feel tomorrow if I skip today’s workout?

Will future me think this cookie is worth it?

This way of thinking doesn’t mean you should always decide to work out even when what your body really needs is to rest. It also doesn’t mean that you should deprive yourself of treats.

Sometimes, the answer to the question of whether or not that cookie will be worth it is absolutely — because cookies are awesome, especially when they’re homemade or from your favorite local bakery. But if it’s a crappy store-bought cookie that you’re about to eat mindlessly in front of the TV, the answer is probably no.

The more conscious we get about making decisions that will impact who we become, the more we can begin to create the person we really want to be.

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